A bold early DOTD nomination by Totti saw the Bok pulled up for excess faffing. It was indeed a slow starting day of “dicking around”, and so our gracious leader was firmly steered for a faster paced day tomorrow.

A challenge by Butch saw The Mummy called up for forgetting the satellite phone in the hold of the jet. It didn’t stand.

The Bok: 9
The Mummy: 8

Tonight another noble DOTD nomination for The Bok- the bloke who’s had 2 years to organise this trip but turned up with a broken bike. (Apparently it’s just a dodgy battery- but he said that last time…)

It was looking like a done deal, until a last minute intervention by Butch (again). There was a small matter of a mislaid (but not mislaid) key at the departure of this afternoon’s bike ride. No biggie, but for some reason it won out. Fair enough. We’ve tested the notion- and decided by 15 male riders- that girls CAN be awarded the DOTD (Gentlemanly query by Totti).

The Bok- 0

The Mummy- Unanimous

A tired team and a long day yielded few nominations- though The Bok recalled the great chase to retrieve Totty from over the other side of the mountains during our coffee stop. Who was the rider in front responsible for stopping and signalling the turn? Cloggs.

Cloggs- Unanimous

Looking back on the long day, the team decided that most definitely, our least favourite border lawyer should be awarded DoTD in absentia.

However, The Monk piped up with a worthy competitor from the very earliest minutes of the day. Knowing that we were due a potentially long and inefficient border crossing, the team were instructed to carry their passport and paperwork on their person for the ride when we set of at 6.30am. Bags were loaded before 6, with Ben’s right at the bottom- until he realised that his PSI, the crucial paperwork for leaving Chile- was in there. The whole truck was unloaded, only to find it wasn’t- it was in his pocket all along….

Border woman- all, definitely. But:

Michelin: Unanimous.

Put it this way- there was a bit of fuss early this evening when Michelin couldn’t find his DoTD vest for dinner. Rules is rules. It did eventually appear, but the secret was out- Michelin hadn’t kept on top of his duties. Another day to consolidate, then…

Michelin: Unanimous

A close contest for DoTD today. Michelin obeyed protocol and was off the hook. The gas station attendant who neglected to fill up Jim’s bike was first up- collective agreement that he was deserving, but it’s a way to drive back to award the medal.

Next up was Pruno- who for a second time had neglected to obey the check-for-drivers-behind-you-and-wait-at-junctions principle, resulting in half the group driving lost around our final destination Chilecito.

It was looking fairly convincing, until a spirited last call out by Totti, naming and shaming Imelda for rejecting a bottle of wine as corked. The disagreement rages on (Imelda holds that he was justified, backed up by Cloggs), but no matter. The award was decided, on the strength of the nomination (and because Imelda had it coming…)

Gas station attendant- 1

Pruno- 8

Imelda- 9

Taka Taka started off the proceedings with the first of the days nominations for Dick of the Day. She had “Shrek” in her sights.

Some time after the team had left Chilecito a guitar had been found on the terrace at the Posada las Maria’s hotel. The convoy had already been on the road heading South for half an hour and was making good time. To avoid delaying progress and further “dicking about” a taxi had to be called to collect the forgotten guitar and rendezvous at some point after the first pass. As it was Shreks guitar, in her view was his responsibility to make sure it was loaded into the trailer before leaving! It seemed an open shut case.

Shrek argued that as he did not use the guitar the previous evening he had not unloaded it from the trailer. Thinking that it was still on the trailer, he had no reason to check to repack it the following morning. In his view whoever had unpacked the guitar deserved the award.

At this point Auld Mug made a valuable intervention. In his view it was those packing the trailer that were at fault. And for a brief moment The Monk found himself in the dock.

But Monks protestations were to be short lived. It was clear that The Bok had other plans. And acting as chief prosecutor, judge and jury he cast aside any impartiality and nominated The Mummy for completely missing the final stop on the road into Rodeo.

As the World’s End team neared their accommodation for the night there was a chance to take in the breathtaking view of Lake Dique cuesta del Viento on the Rio Blanco, at the foot of the snow capped Andes. The whole team pulled off the road to take in the scenery and get photos.

Not quite the whole team. 15 bikes had pulled over to the side of the road. Butch waited in clear view for the last to arrive. Five minutes later The Mummy rounded the final bend. Past Butch, past the whole team, past the views – onwards, head down, focused only on the road ahead. Butch waved both hands to attract attention but it was not to be. The Mummy pressed on, determined, down the road into the town of Rodeo and beyond. The team finished the group photos (a priority) then sent out a search party to find The Mummy, now some way down the road to Ushuaia!

In her defence The Mummy pointed out that as she was travelling slower than the rest of the bikes she had been told earlier in the day to “carry on at stops” and was applying the rule.

Philistine provided some “colour” to explain that having taken the day cautiously The Mummy had now found full throttle, at completely the wrong point in the day.

Protestation fell on deaf ears and the vote was taken.

The Monk. 7 The Mummy. 9

The Mummy opened nominations with a simple request for the team to check their pockets. Anything missing of value? The Philistine, knew where this was going. It turns out that his wallet, and almost all of his most valuable possessions, had been left scattered across the car park. Definitely a ‘dickish’ thing to do. The Philistine true to form came back with an attack on The Mummy, for not handing over the wallet. Who was the DOTD, the person that lost the wallet or the person that did no hand it back? Good question but one that the team had a clear answer.

Totti nominated all those in the group that are keen on exercise. A multiple dick of the day award! All these people get dressed in their lycra or running shorts, test their shoes, get their bikes, bottles, helmets ready. Its like herding Cats and then someone forgets something, which means there is even more dicking around! But the Bok was having none of it, suggesting Totti was close to a HTFU nomination if he continued.

The nominations were put to the vote 6 for The Philistine and 2 for the Totti’s team DOTD. The Philistine left dinner The Dick of the Day!

After a day on perfect tar and perfect off road, high spirits continued into the award nominations this evening.

Butch kicked things off nominating Shorty, for failing to charge the batteries and ensure memory cards were in the cameras that he handed over to get photos and film through the day. We all have our jobs to do, one oversight is forgivable but three times is dicking around. In his defence Shorty said he was frankly surprised he had not won the DOTD award before now.

Michelin nominated Totti as the dick that thought he had a $571 Argentinean bank note only to find out, when he tried to buy the petrol station with his new found wealth that he had the wrong currency. In fact his “Chilean” note was neither legal tender in Argentina nor worth quite as as much as he thought. The value of 10,000 pesos being around 20 pence! Totti replied that his generosity, in whatever currency, had kept the team sustained through the afternoon as the search for Nick continued.

The Bock nominated Nick for “f**king off on his own whimsical magical mistery tour without telling anyone where he was going.”

Sleasy nominated God for the fog in the morning.

Totti nominated The Bok for faffing around all day, with multiple unnecessary long stops, he insisted things really should be better organised.

Of course the head of the police check point was always going to be a popular choice and Sleazy’s nomination initially received plenty of support. But this can be a fickle team and it did not take long for them to turn on Sleazy himself as the nomination. The focus of the police earlier in the day was, had of course been down to Sleazy and Shorty stopping on the main highway to take photographs. “Casco Blanco” as Interpol now refer to him, found himself in the spotlight again but this time in a far more important court. In a twist of fate, having made the initial nomination, Sleazy found himself nominated.

So after a slow start we had six nominations – a record number in the history of Dick of the Day. The vote was taken – Sleazy won by a mile with 10 very firm votes.

A few new faces in the group to diversify the voting profile today- and some interesting nominations. First up, our most formal nomination yet, by way of a ‘note from the hotel management’ for Philistine, for losing his room key.

Next up Pronker nominated Imelda, for managing to barter up the price of the lassoo he bought earlier. But Butch stepped in and counter-nominated Takka Takka, for having managed the translation on that one.

Michelin ended up winning again, however- on the basis that he wasn’t wearing his HTFU bib to dinner as required. Sleazy narrowly got away with it, using it as a napkin…

Philistine: 2

Michelin: The rest…

It was a slow start to procedungs this evening.

Just when it looked as though there was to be no nomination Butch stepped forward to nominate BJ.

He climbed past three of our guides in his determination to reach the top of the mountain trail today. In normal circumstances this would be no deal but Biggles was following him closely, staight up the river, ending up face down in its icy flow. BJ too found himself on all fours. True that BJs wife was up ahead and BJ claimed he was only trying to help her to negotiate a tricky section. He was in such a rush he even lost one of his shoes waged between rocks.

The Bok nominated Pruno. After he had asked Taka Taka to help to find his wallet. Taka Taka rattled off emails and made numerous phone calls to previous stop-overs but to no avail. After she had made many persuasive phone calls, Pruno found his wallet….. in his pocket!

A vote was taken. BJ 1
Pruno 10.

These boys were lucky to get away to be nominated as Dicks of the day. It was a very close call as to whether they ought to have been told to HTFU! Leaving a T-Shirt here, a pair of shorts there is one thing, but asking Taka Taka to see if she could arrange for their lost underwear, socks and other minor items to be forwarded onto the next location is unforgivable!

A multiple nomination. A quickfire vote. And multiple awards made.

Pronker, Philistine, Pruno and Michelin will be taking it in turns to wear the fury helmet cover of shame along with fetching fluorescent tabbard

A rollover today- the team managed to share the prestigious green Kermit hat but didn’t observe rules re wearing medals during the day, wearing jackets to breakfast and dinner, etc. We’ll give them another go.

After a successful day of 4-way vest sharing, the four previous nominees were released from rollover.

Pruno was up again, however- courtesy of Taka Taka- for forgetting a very vital documents folder at the previous hotel, containing yellow fever proofs and the like. Oops. Will he ever learn?

Imelda was up for Totti’s rolled over nomination last night- for bad behaviour during very serious and smouldering Belstaff photographs.

In a twist of fate tonight saw the first ever “double-double”, too- both of the above were also on the line for HTFU for shaving off expedition facial hair (Pruno) and for being conspicuously absent in the macho bikes-off-trailer team earlier in the day (Imelda).

The Bok called it- both won.

Today’s nomination by Butch was for our esteemed cameraman, also a newly minted rider taking recent turns at the handlebars.

After the standard border commotion- bikes on trailers, trailers taken off and reattached, etc- it was decided that Shorty would ride a bike over into Chile. Shorty was geared up, and briefed. The rest of the group were assembled ready to go, the cars had gone ahead- but hang on… there was a bike with no rider! Shorty had forgotten and jumped in the car ahead. There was a chase down the road and a semi-swift return to collect it. It all worked out ok. But still, a DOTD…

Shorty- unanimous

BJ nominated whoever re-set his alarm to wake him at 04:30 this morning. When none of the usual suspects owned up to claim the deed, attention turned to BJ himself. Perhaps it was BJ’s own fat fingers that had mistyped the early morning call.

The Hack, described how BJ had leapt out of bed, opened all the blinds, flipped on every light in the room, made a few unique noises in the bathroom then looked at his watch. Bloody Hell he squawked its 04:30. Precisely, said the Hack.

The vote was taken and the result was unanimous. BJ is DOTD.

Today was a Magical Mystery tour for everyone. As was so eloquently presented by our newest team member Phillip.(yet to be named). We woke at 05:00 to prepare for a difficult ride. The day was meant to have 200 km of difficult off road in torrential rain. The 20 minutes of off road in the sunshine was phenomenal but was not as marketed in Bok’s tour guide. With a day spent on the most glorious winding tar roads we ended up at our destination three hours earlier than expected.

Whilst Bok acknowledged the passionate delivery of the nomination, he attempted to blame the Chilean Government for investing in the roads, whist he had not been looking. The defence failed and Bok won the vote for Dicking everyone around, although most people were pleased the day had worked out so well.

After two hours of border crossing bureaucracy the team are ready to leave. But our Toyota (and trailer) blocks the checkpoint barrier. The Monk has searched his hassocks but could not find the keys to unlock the car and our freedom.

It seems that The Hack borrrowed the keys to give border guards a coveted World’s End buff, to ease our way. The buff worked and saved us hours but the keys delayed us by valuable minutes.

Ah well. The Hack will check his pockets in future. And has to wear the fluorescent tabard and Kermithelmet head in the pack tomorrow.

A rousing nomination by Leen for Imelda and Totti tonight. As a former officer in the Dutch army, and after 15 years working in the leisure industry, he remembers the “all in it together” attitude that dominated the culture of both. Yet… after a tough afternoon battling the wind, as the group waited patiently in the gale for the last of the team to come in, this former army officer and seasoned hotelier were found to have sneaked off ahead, seeking wifi (not found) and beer at the hotel. Uh oh…

Imelda and Totti- unanimous

Fuel-focused nominations this evening, after a day of running dry. Philistine opened up with nominating The Mummy, for running out of fuel 30k before Calafate, even after the jerry can stop. There was some confusion with who was responsible- the filler of the tank, the rider, or those who the rider asked about why the fuel gage wasn’t registering… But as Totti’s often said, attack is the best form of defence. The counter nomination was for The Bok, who hadn’t registered the turnoff to the right for the petrol station when group reserves were getting low, which the vehicles had thankfully diverted to during that long wait for rescue. The Bok nobly took it.

The Mummy- 5

The Bok- 8

In a day of widespread dicking about, there were plenty of potential nominations. The Bok went back to core priciples though- when DOTD was first coined, it was designated for people who either a) were ridiculously late b) really messed things up.

He pointed out that today, amongst all the mess-ups, there was a standout winner- who had fulfilled DOTD criteria so completely there was not even a need for nominations.

Cue Philistine, standing up, removing his jacket, to reveal a DOTD vest, medal and helmet cover ready to go. That ill-timed, complex tyre change at the Argentine border. Call it unanimous.